As narrated by Shagufta :

At the end of grade 11 I took the leap,a leap that took me a lot of courage. Always at the back of my mind I always wanted to madressa although I barely mentioned it. I took that ‘you either do it or regret leap ‘

I decided on doing an aalima course nearby but not only just doing the course but I also decided on boarding there as well.

Initially I did feel abit out of place but slowly I lost myself into my studies and loved madressa so much that the thought of leaving it made my heart ache. 

With time I started noticing the change in myself, I could see myself as more grateful and less irritable. My teenage Brat-ish behavior was slipping away, I could feel myself maturing.

Time went by and when my third year of studying settled in I didn’t even realize.

If there was one person who really helped me settle it was my first year tafseer apa.

Apa safiyya, I grew immensely attached to her and told her everything I possibly could always observing that boundary of respect and she helped me heal, become a better person and more importantly a better Muslim 

She called me one day privately and I went carefree not having a clue about what Apa wants to speak to me about.I felt comfortable infront of Apa.

She told me to sit and she began to talk about this boy her husband found in the masjid many many years back. I was slightly confused since ever since I have known apa she never really mentioned her personal life to me but I knew better than to question it so I listened instead.

My apa continued 

“This little Boy was so frail, weak and scared. Molana immediately brought him home and gave him some food and organized some warm clothes for him.

For weeks we searched for any sign of relatives or parents but all to vain. So we decided to keep him and legally adopt him after many years of legal rounds that was finally possible.

I raised him up as my own, Oh and I forgot to mention his name is Mohammed Bilaal.

Molana and I tried to keep him away from lots of people and family.Not because we were ashamed that Mohammed Bilaal was of the black race but because we wanted to protect him from people’s minds and words we didn’t want him to grow up in a world of hate and in a world where he feels like we did a favor on him and he doesn’t belong with us.

Mohammed Bilaal is 25 and teaches the small kids sometimes in madressa but is a accountant as well. Recently molana and I are looking for him a wife but people seem hesitant and I know why but my heart still doesn’t understand. 

So Shagufta I haven’t spoken to your parents as yet because I wanted to speak to you first..

Would you want me to speak to my parents about Mohammed Bilaal and your proposal, there’s no pressure you can say no, i’ll give u time and if you say no i will not bring this up to your parents, I promise.

“My Answer is yes apa “,i said confidently.

Shagufta are you sure, if you are I’ll phone your parents today and organize a meeting with the two families and we can see how it goes. 

Apa knows about my family I told apa about them they will be judgemental and they will hurt Apa, I don’t want that to happen. My answer is yes apa for nikaah.

Shagufta I think it would be wise for your parents to meet Mohammed Bilaal and you aswell ofcourse with a mahram present.

My answer is yes apa, I have faith in ALLAH and i have faith in apas’ upbringing.

Mohammed Bilaal and I made nikaah the next week with no reception just a simple walima from apas side.

I saw Mohammed Bilaal for the first time only after nikaah was performed and wallahi I fell in love in that instant.

I know and felt at that very moment I found home, happiness, love and meaning. Mohammed Bilaal absolutely loves parathas just as much as I do, he even makes them for me sometimes to surprise me. We both have so much in common it’s weird, it’s like we were two pieces of the same puzzle that were always meant to join. 

The cherry on top was after the first year of marriage, ALLAH blessed us with two daughters and I named them Yusra and Zaneerah after My two best friends.In the coming years of my life I had 4 more children, Mohammed uthmaan, khadeeja, naeela and humairah. So that makes 6 children in total.

Our marriage didn’t ever have any major problems but we had arguments sometimes but we always sorted it out.our marriage and love grew with the years rather than diminished.

Yes did I forget to mention me and Zaneerah made peace.Zaneerah got married just a few months before I gave birth to my twins and I know that when she gets children her children and mine will be best of friends as well.

Yusra was the last amongst us all to get married but her marriage was one that shocked us all..hopefully she finds home too just like I did.

Authors note :

That’s the end of shagufta for now and I hope I gave her role justice. Who do you think Zaneerah got married to and who do you think Yusra got married to.. 

With love :

Ayesha ❤