Post fourty one: some closure at last. 

As narrated by Zaneerah :

Saturdays are usually days I look forward to by just staying at home and ignoring all other forms of living that exist on planet Earth .

Little did I know this Saturday would turn out slightly different for the better in the end ..

Around 2 in the afternoon I heard noices in the lounge, which obviously meant we have guests.
Since I was in no mood to go down and socialize i made a plan to pretend I’m not at home by not making a single noice and maybe they will forget I exist for a little while.

But ofcourse my mother didn’t follow the plan and boom there she goes screaming out my name
“Zaneerah come down!, see who came poppy.”

So ofcourse my plan was foiled by none other than my mummy dearest so I had no option but to oblige so I ran to my cupboard to find a scarf and walked to the lounge.

I was initially tad bit confused when I saw them meaning him and his aunt sitting in my lounge.

My first reaction when I saw Mohammed Sa’ad sitting in the lounge was a smile then I realized we nothing but strangers and my face dropped.
I greeted his aunt and made my way to the kitchen with my mother.

Forcing my tears back i smiled and made normal conversation with my mother but all that was going on in my head was flashbacks..

Flashbacks playing in my head of the last time we met all thanks to idiot face Yaasir.

I will never forget that day I guess it will always hurt hearing the one person you truly love tell you won’t understand what it is to love since you have always been single.

“So nice of them to come visit us Ma, how long they staying in Johannesburg? ” I said asking my mother.

“Not for long I guess as soon as the wedding is done they would go back to Cape Town.” My mum replied.

“Wedding?, but isn’t they came down here for an engagement. Why the wedding so soon?” I said abit too fast but luckily Ma didn’t catch on.

“I don’t know me and your Abba were wondering the same but whatever the reason I’m actually happy, one shouldn’t delay in nikaah.
I even met the girl the other day and she’s so mashallah the two of them will look so good isn’t?” my Ma said with a huge smile on her face.

“Ya they will..”I replied trying very hard not to cry.
“Urr mom, I actually have an important assignment I was working on can I go back up?” i asked.

“Ya sure poppy”, mom replied.

I ran up to my room and cried my heart out wetting my pillow with my tears
Not realizing I was being watched

Someone put their hand on my shoulder I look up and see its him

“What are u doing here?!” i said

“Zaneerah, I just came to say bye.
Are u okay?.”

“Whether I’m okay or not that’s none of your business.” I said in a rather loud tone

“Zaneerah calm down not so loud someone will hear
I need to go now but I’ll phone u, and answer okay.”

After about 2 hours he phoned on my cell phone but I didn’t answer he tried about 2 more times till I answered.

***phonecall***

Z –
“What is your problem?, Don’t you understand I really don’t want to speak to you.”

MS-
“But why Zaneerah what’s wrong? Come on we besties you can’t hide anything from me.”

Z-
“Besties? Are u kidding me? Is this some kind of a joke.”

MS-
“What do you mean.”

Z-
“What I’m trying to say is don’t u ever call yourself my bestfriend again!
My bestfriend died the day you left for Capetown
You not the same anymore.”

MS-
“Zaneerah circumstances change everyone but trust me I’m still your Saadoo.”

Z-
“No you not my Saadoo!
Because if you were him you would have never left me all alone when I needed my bestfriend the most!
My Saadoo wouldn’t just cut me out of my life like you did”

MS-
“Zaneerah, What are you talking about? Okay listen im nearby your house. Come outside.”

__________________________

As narrated by Mohammed Sa’ad :

She finally came out after 15 missed calls and one hoot but even when she sat in the car
She looked at the window avoiding all eye contact with me.

Since when did all of our lives get so complicated I wish we were younger smaller with no worries just fun and naptime as punishment.
Aah the good old days but no time to be reminiscing.

I drove for a while then i thought it’s better if i break the ice

MS-
“Zaneerah, since when do like me?
I mean don’t go and shout the poor soul or go murder him but Yaasir kind of gave it away the last time he made us meet up that you like me.”

And ofcourse no reply, aah I see she’s giving me the cold shoulder as usual but this time I ain’t going to let her if she’s stubborn I’m stubborn-ner i know that’s not really a word but who cares anyway.

MS-
“Zaneerah not everyone in life is given the opportunity to get closure.
I don’t know why or when u started liking me but whatever or whenever it is you need to forget about it and move on. I know it’s not easy but you can’t be stuck on this chapter forever and you will be unless you don’t talk about it now when life’s giving you a chance to talk about it.”

Z-
“Easy for you to say, ‘talk about it to you’ what are you Oprah!” *inserts really dramatic rolling eyes ”

MS-
“What do you mean zeeny?
and hey cut out the sarcastic comments please.”

Z-
“I thought you liked me too..”
She said and I could see she was finding it hard to express her feelings and word them.

Z-
“For once..
I thought someone liked me but,
as usual that is like impossible.

*silence*

why is it so difficult moving on from something that was never yours but felt more precious to you than anything that was yours. ”

MS-
“but Zaneerah we always said ‘we just friends’ and you never told me how you felt how was I supposed to know? .”,I said cutting her out.

Z-
“Falling for you was never planned it just happened everything you did just made me feel special and also because of what you did in Cape Town, I felt special Sa’ad I felt like you genuinely cared for me and liked me.”

MS-
“I admit, I shouldn’t have done what I did in Cape Town.
I guess I gave you wrong hints and I’m extremely ashamed of that.
I can’t really justify what I did but since we being honest here I’d like to confess too that well,you see at that time when you came to Capetown, Maleeha wasn’t in my life anymore.
When I saw u I know this sounds really bad and selfish now that I’m saying it out aloud but
In a way I found a replacement a rebound so to say. I can’t find a better word right now but don’t get me wrong please.”

Z-
“Oh wow! replacement!
Mohammed, I was your best friend and I didn’t expect you to just use me and throw me away as if I’m some used tissue paper.”

MS-
“Look, I’m sorry Zaneerah.”

Z-
“Sorry a five letter word that means nothing to me anymore. I guess but in a way I desevered it for thinking that a guy like you would ever like a girl like me.”

MS-
“Zaneerah you are a wonderful girl but please stop selling yourself short
One day u going to find someone and that someone will see you better than you see yourself and all you gotta do is be you and keep your heart open for someone to make their place in it.
If I ask u for a last gift will u give it to me?”

Z-
” And what is that?. ”

MS-
“First promise you will?.”
Z-
“Okay, promise.”

MS –
“Promise me you will never forget me as your bestfriend
Promise me you will keep all our good memories
But most of all promise me you will keep your heart open for someone worthy enough to steal it princess.”

Z-
“Pinky promise.”

Z-
“Thanks for everything Saadoo and hey drop me off home fast I need to do some shopping my bestfriend is getting married!.”

I said genuinely feeling lighter I know it would a difficult moving on but it’s a road I want to travel because I know the destination will be worth it. 

MS-
“Byes zeeny.”

With that I dropped her home and went to my home as well and somehow I had this strange feeling of peace and happiness that atleast that’s one problem sorted out in a good way.

_______________________
Authors note :
Please do comment and let me know what do you’ll think about the blog or the post or anything I would love to hear from all my silent readers

Loads of love :
Ayesha ❤

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