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QuOte oF thE daY :
“Do not judge other people by your own standards,for everyone is making their way home ,in the way they know best .”

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As narrated by Yaasir :

We were sitting in miss Tilly’s class, our accounting teacher and I was bored as hell!.

I decided to go out of class with an excuse but before I could go, I noticed Zaneerah…
Something wasn’t right ,she looked different instead of her nerdy,serious look she always has, she had more of a intense yet blank look and I noticed a tear escaped her eye .

Well, you know, girls and their moods are more unpredictable than the weather sometimes !

But wait this means ..
This means she’s sad

Do I get luckier by the minute or what !.
Girls are always soo easier to manipulate when they sad.

I’ll just be her shoulder to cry on then she will fall for me.
I just need to strike the iron while its the hottest (if you know what I mean).

I just get more awesome and intelligent by the day unlike some people who get dummer and uglier by the passing second.

Don’t feel guilty ,if you feel jealous because I mean let’s wake up and smell the coffee here, no matter how much you try you cannot reach my level of awesomeness.
As narrated by Zaneerah :

The next day in school ,I just couldn’t concentrate. Whatever the teacher said went in the one ear and came out through the other.

Surrounded by soo many people yet I still felt soo alone.
I felt like a huge part of me was missing, emptiness filled me even though I clearly told my mind that his chapter is closed in my life, my heart doesn’t listen.
The heart never listens.

Shagufta isn’t in my class and as much as one part of me wanted to pour my heart out to her, the other part thought she’d never understand, nobody would or maybe nobody ever tried to …

My mind was having constant flashbacks of our moments spent together in class ,the time he left and the little moments spent in Cape town.
All those flashbacks made my mind feel like I was at war.

My silence means more than what people interpret it to be .
I just feel like a lost traveler en route to a unknown destination.
What scares me the most is sometimes I feel like I don’t even want to be found …

Lost in my thoughts someone offered me a tissue and it was only then that I realized- I was  crying slightly.
I took the tissue,quite embarrassed and wiped my tears and nose.

I wanted to thank the person so I turned around only to find Yaasir .
He was sitting next to me looking deep in thought as well…

“Urr thanks Yaasir”,I said rather awkwardly this was the first time I had ever spoken to him in school.

“Pleasure “, he replied and asked “so err , do u mind letting me know what’s bothering you or should I just fish it out ?”

“Urm ,I’d like to be alone and not talk about it at the moment so thanks,but no thanks ” I replied.

“Well okay then whenever you want to get it outta your head I’m just around the corner.”

If Mohammed Saad was here he would have done something similar but knowing Mohammed Saad he wouldn’t let me have a breathe in peace without getting it out of me.

But I need to keep on reminding myself that Mohammed Saad is not here and he never will be !

Aaah !, why is it soo difficult to move on .

As narrated by Yusraa :

School the next day was fun.
We had a debate assignment in english where there were 6 people in a group and you got a random topic then sort of debated on it ,its hard to explain but I’m sure you get it .

We were randomly picked for the group and call it “destiny ” or “coincidence” but Riyaad and I were in the same group

And we got the worst topic we could have ever got it was the dreaded topic of “LOVE”.

Riyaad was part of the three people who were debating for love and I was part of the three people debating against love .

I had a lot to say and the few things I said were :

*Love is a sweet deception which causes innocent hearts to fall prey to it.
*You destroy yourself by loving that person more than you love yourself .
*Love at this point in time and age is silly and is just experimenting with feelings .
*Love kills you spiritually and mentally .
When things don’t work out ,it leaves a scar soo deep nothing can fill it up again.

I concluded by saying that :
They say love is blind but how blind?
Is it soo blind that you don’t see it destroying you?
Some people say they’re in love but the person who they love makes them cry so often.
I sometimes wonder whether they’re dating a human or a human version of an onion !
So I agree that there is something called true love
But definitely not in this time and age .

Riyaad surprised me abit by his thought about love , I learn something new about him everyday. His a funny guy ..

I don’t remember exactly what he said I just remember a few things like;

When we fall in love, we know that love may or may not be poison for us but we still want to drink that poison because love is killing yourself just to let the person you love, live.

Love is the feeling you get when you see the person you love across the corridors, streets, classes or playgrounds and your whole face lights up! Even though to them you probably don’t even exist.

Love is selfless, Love is madness. Love is dreaming with an open eye, love is walking on hot coals with a smile on your face.

Love brings joy and happiness to life and when I speak about all these things I’m not only referring to the love that you have for your boyfriend and girlfriend but I’m also referring to the love for parents, family and friends.

All in all the debate was a tie and well our teacher said we will redo this debate the next week for marks I wonder which side will win; for love or against love?

As narrated by Laylaa :

As soon as bell rang for break I joined Zaneerah and we walked and talked and well, let’s just say she’s way different then how I assumed her to be.

That just got me thinking that sometimes the people we sit with ,our classmates ,our grademates, just people who we see most of the time are actually way different than they seem to be.

Each one of them have a story to tell but most have no one to listen to them, sadly …

I should stop judging people, I mean I always thought of Zaneerah as “holy” and always the type that will point out your mistakes just to make herself feel better but whilst we were walking she had a normal casual conversation with me and I didn’t realize how talkative she is until now!

Yusraa and Shagufta joined us and we sat under one nice big tree.
Shagufta got everyone entertained while Yusraa and I were speaking like normal and Zaneerah would add her input here and there and before we knew it break was over.

I think I just found a new click! A click where I can be myself and hopefully not be judged .

While Spending this break with them I didn’t at once think back about the situation at home .

I felt less lonely I felt like I meant something to them even though this is the first time I’m sitting with Zaneerah and Shagufta they made me feel soo welcome.

Hopefully we can sit with each other most breaks.
I need more friends like them…

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Authors note :
I know I haven’t been posting often and I’m extreamly apologetic .
I’ll try and post soon but no promises.

A special shoutout to two of my awesome friends (Zaakirah and Faheema )who edited this post for me ,May ALLAH.T reward you abundantly !

With duas and slmz :
Ayesha ♡

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